How Pinterest Almost Ruined My (Future) Wedding

grooms-beware-of-the-wedding-day-prank

I was on the fence about weddings.

Big white dress? A sweaty groom? Stuffy ceremony, boring reception? Crappy cake? Mundane vows that everyone and his brother repeats? Pre-nup signing before the service? A big ol’ diamond ring that everyone and her sister has? $25,000+ for a day that will last a few hours? All to put on some sort of show that helps you prove your love? To whom? To them? Or to you?

I was on the fence about weddings … then I got engaged.

Suddenly, instead of spouting off my anti-marriage/wedding remarks to anyone within a 500 foot radius, I’m buying wedding planning books and creating newΒ  folders on Pinterest. No one warned me about the wedding section of Pinterest! I’m looking up color schemes, checking out venues, and trying to figure out how in the hell I’m going to suddenly become Martha Stewart so that I can actually pull off all of that DIY crap. Wedding this and wedding that. Wedding wedding wedding. My perfect wedding. My flawless wedding. Bridezilla’s were taking over the world!

bridezilla

Then my mother calls. And my step dad texts. And my grandma emails. And they all have ideas on who I need to invite. So I write all these names down, and count all of the heads, and once our date was picked (in a hurry, as well), I rushed off ‘Save the Date’ cards.

Phew. Time for some rest … right?

Nope. I started having mild panic attacks. I started eating a lot of ice cream. I even quit Pinning … and that’s how you really know how bad it was. My fiance kept talking about how sure he was; how he knew without a doubt that this is what he wanted … and here I was, wavering. I was full of doubts, as I always am. I was unsure. I was confused.
And just like that, I quit being excited about our wedding.

Some days passed. A couple weeks passed. My fiance notices that I had not touched my wedding-planning pile. He asks me what happened to my Pinning hours on end; to my telling him all about the fifty-thousand different shades of pink. So obviously, I began to cry. I was so overwhelmed; I hated weddings! I didn’t want to spend thousands of dollars on a day, when we could use that money for a place of our own or a killer honeymoon. Then there was the family issue. I have a family full of drama-addicts and an awkward past that proves I don’t do well around them. I didn’t want to be in a room surrounded by people that don’t even know my favorite color; I didn’t want to once again kiss the asses of people that have hurt me deeply in the past, just so they wouldn’t give me crap about not inviting them to my wedding. The day was quickly becoming more about everyone else, and less about the two of us.

“I don’t want a wedding!” I scream.

“Is it that you don’t want a wedding, or could it just be that you don’t want this big wedding that you feel you have to plan?” He asks.

Hmm. I thought about this a second. Could it be that Pinterest had deceived me? Could it be that perhaps I was just not meant for a big grand affair? Was I against weddings, or was I just against the weddings that everyone else had?

What did I want?

Me, Loony. The girl that was adamantly against marriage until she got engaged; the girl that despised weddings until she got engaged. I’m the girl that has the fashion sense of a 12-year-old girl; I’m the girl that uses Nair on her eyebrows because she’s too lazy to pluck; I’m the girl that doesn’t like getting dressed up in fancy clothes. I’m the girl that used to think being ‘sexy’ was the only acceptable way to be, but who now prefers her fiance’s t-shirts over lingerie. I am not fancy or cultured or sexy or gorgeous or creative or Martha Stewart. I’m just me; I’m just Loony. And I want to marry this man.

I want to marry this man because he has proven to me that the people who say “Soulmates don’t exist,” are the people that haven’t found theirs. This man knows me, all of me, and he knew it all before we even met in person. This man is in my head, in my heart, in my soul. This man speaks to my little and pulls her out to play. This man is my soul mate. And I want to marry him.

And so, we have arrived. I may still waver and I may still be unsure. But come December 13 (yes, it’s on a Friday), I will walk up to and stand beside my Alex in a small and intimate ceremony that binds us together for the rest of our lives. The day will be for us, about us, and only us.

Pinterest, I still love you. I do. I will always love you. But stay the hell out of my wedding.

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22 thoughts on “How Pinterest Almost Ruined My (Future) Wedding

  1. Loony.
    “I am not fancy or cultured or sexy or gorgeous or creative or Martha Stewart. I’m just me; I’m just Loony.”
    You my dear, just expressed perfection!!!!
    And to me you are all of em except Martha, thank fucking Ggod
    Yay for you both.
    Jim

  2. Who cares about anyone else. It’s about you and Alex and just the important people you want with you. You love him and he loves you and you don’t have to put on a show to prove it, because anyone who knows you can already see it. You just worry about what makes you happy πŸ™‚

  3. I love this post! I hope I get married one day but at the moment, I’m putting my career ahead of marriage and a family. I think some people probably think “oh, she’s only twenty, she’ll change her mind” but I know what I want to do, unless I fall in love like you have. And I’m certainly not spending thousands when/if I do get married. I’d rather have a small ceremony followed by an expensive, globe-trotting honeymoon.

    Your story is beautiful and lovely and I’m so glad you’re happy together. Life is too damn short to go around meeting other peoples’ expectations. Do what makes you happy! Don’t worry about having the ‘perfect wedding’ because who dictates what is perfect anyway?
    Your wedding, however you choose to celebrate, is going to be wonderful!

  4. And this is why my husband and I did the drive thru in Vegas. It was memorable, fun and what we didn’t spend on the actual ceremony we used for really nice rings and a week in Vegas having a blast. I wouldn’t think you would be one for a huge wedding. You seem more of a clearing in the woods and everyone barefoot kind of wedding girl to me (course I only know you barely). What a perfect place to do that…Oregon!

  5. Brilliant post I’m laughing so hard cause I remember the mild stress that I had until I just let go. Love the date too, I have always thought of it as a VERY lucky day πŸ™‚

  6. YEAH!!!
    I had an unconventional wedding. I hate formalities, rules, etiquette…blah, blah, blah. This day is YOURS and there are no rules. We were married on a boat on a river. I did not throw my bouquet but instead handed it to the person I wanted to. We brought people “along for the ride”, but it was OUR day. I knew it was when I was walking down a tiny aisle (swaying back and forth from the waves) and all I could see was him.
    It will be incredible because it will be about the “two of you”.
    πŸ™‚ So happy for you.

  7. Oh no you di’int just go Martha Stewart on us!!!! That’s awesome. If I ever get married, I’ll be creating the shit out of things, and it will be the most themed wedding ever (until the wifey puts the kibosh on her flying in through the air on a wire like Kiss does at their concerts instead of walking down the aisle.)

  8. I don’t blame you for wanting a stress free wedding, getting married is stressful enough without having to worry about the guests. Do your own thing, it’s your day.

  9. Don’t worry about doing what anyone else thinks you should do. It’s your day. You guys do it how you want to do it. Invite who you want to invite and don’t get pressure into inviting people you don’t want there. And most importantly, find a way to live-stream it so I can be there!!

  10. I see you, standing barefoot, in a simple, flowing dress, with some flowers in your hair, and a huge smile on your face!! So glad you are doing exactly what you want to do!!! Sounds like it’s going to be a great wedding!!

    Me personally, if I were to ever tie the knot again, it would either be very simple, or it would be a huge costume bash, maybe even on Halloween!!

  11. Oh, this post makes me so happy for you! This is “your day” and and should be done in “your way” with only the people “you want” standing by “your side.” This sounds like December 13th is going to be a most perfect day!!! Congratulations again and again! I’m so, so happy for you! πŸ™‚

  12. We eloped and never regretted it for a second. It was our day and we didn’t have to worry about accommodating anyone else. It was perfect. πŸ™‚

  13. Hah. I went to my first wedding a couple weeks ago where my good friend was the photographer (I recommended him to the overwhelmed bride). He starts talking to her about what she wants and she rattles off this list of things, saying “Oh, I saw it on Pinterest”.

    At some point later, my photographer-friend and I are alone and he mutters, “I f#$king hate Pinterest. Well. I hate it as related to weddings. She’s the goddamn 4 or 5th bride I’ve had say Pinterest gave her some AMAZING idea. I would do a wedding for free for a freakin’ bride who does not mention Pinterest once.”

    I’ve never been on the Pinterest. It sounds terrible.

    I love your description of your love. I also think a Friday the 13th wedding is excellent!! But then, I would love a horror-themed wedding. Universe help whatever person decides they’d like to marry me.

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  16. I’m a year late, but I enjoyed this post.

    My wife and I were married just over 2 years ago in a small ceremony. Only about 20 people were there to witness it. My son was the “best man” and her daughter was the “maid of honor”. The reception wad a potluck dinner.

    It was small and it was perfect.

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