a little nutty, to say the least
generalized anxiety disorder
childhood & adulthood
sexual, physical, emotional
Was once a misfit little girl
that grew up
I never fit in
I was strange,
people didn’t understand me
and they feared what they couldn’t understand.
I started this blog in 2012.
I desperately needed a place for
all of my random thoughts,
I had no expectations,
just hopes that I wouldn’t be judged.
What I recieved were
and my husband.
Yes, I met my husband through this blog
he read this post
and connected with my story.
He emailed me a short & funny message,
and four months later we were married.
We had both walked a long and lonely road,
until we found each other
whose weird was exactly the same.
He offered me the unconditional love
and different life
that i was so desperate for.
He told me to take a chance,
to trust that he would
keep me safe.
5 years later, he has kept all of his promises.
We live in a safe
& gassy (thats all on me…)
with our two bad spoons
and one in kitty heaven.
I used to write here to survive.
but then I stopped posting and quit writing completely.
I needed to put all of my energy
into seeking help,
and trying to heal from my past.
Almost three years of
the most intensive counseling I’ve ever had
engaging in negative coping mechanisms
learning positive coping mechanisms
enduring the pain of a journey that seems all but impossible,
I pick my ass back up and keep going
i still do the fucking work.
I am back,
and ready to begin sharing what life looks like for me now.
I still have work to do,
I still hurt
I still suffer
I’m still learning
I’m still me…
just an upgraded
and more aware
now let me introduce you to
the ones i love most in this world.
and our bad spoons.
Miki Buns (RIP our beloved spoon)
Hikari the Bitchy, Alex the Spoondaddy, and Tali Bun the Viscous