a little nutty, to say the least

generalized anxiety disorder
chronic depression
self harm
and c-ptsd
childhood & adulthood
sexual, physical, emotional

Was once a misfit little girl
that grew up
being abused
I never fit in
with anyone

I was strange,
people didn’t understand me
and they feared what they couldn’t understand.

I started this blog in 2012.
I desperately needed a place for
all of my random thoughts,
and anguish.
I had no expectations,
just hopes that I wouldn’t be judged.
What I recieved were
beautiful friendships
and my husband.

Yes, I met my husband through this blog
he read this post
and connected with my story.
He emailed me a short & funny message,
and four months later we were married.

We had both walked a long and lonely road,
until we found each other
whose weird was exactly the same.
He offered  me the unconditional love
and different life
that i was so desperate for.
He told me to take a chance,
to trust that he would
keep me safe.
5 years later, he has kept all of his promises.
We live in a safe
& gassy (thats all on me…)
with our two bad spoons
and one in kitty heaven.

I used to write here to survive.
but then I stopped posting and quit writing completely.
I needed to put all of my energy
into seeking help,
and trying to heal from my past.

Almost three years of
the most intensive counseling I’ve ever had
medication roulette
learning dbt
practicing dbt
dbt groups
fuck ups
eating dbt
fixing things
breathing dbt
engaging in negative coping mechanisms
hating dbt
learning positive coping mechanisms
loving dbt
enduring the pain of a journey that seems all but impossible,
I pick my ass back up and keep going
i still do the fucking work.

I am back,
and ready to begin sharing what life looks like for me now.
I still have work to do,
I still hurt
I still suffer
I’m still learning
I’m still me…
just an upgraded
and more aware

now let me introduce you to
my family.
the ones i love most in this world.
my husband,
and our bad spoons.

Miki Buns (RIP our beloved spoon)

Hikari the Bitchy, Alex the Spoondaddy, and Tali Bun the Viscous


184 thoughts on “About

  1. Great About Bio! I really admire your honesty. It’s hard to be open about mental health issues, but it is the bravery of people like you that inspires me to try and face the struggle rather than run away from it. I too find blogging a great way to help figure oneself out. I look forward to reading your blog. Kam

  2. you are beautiful and absolutely refreshing and you are unique, but most importantly is appears that you are accepted for who you are. That is worth more than anything!

  3. Hey there Erica,
    As a mom of two teens and a former sad youth (spent a lot of time with tears, a diary and the door closed), I’m so very glad you found the spirit to turn your life in a new direction. There is much, much more good stuff to come. Even the stuff that’s not so great, can be made better with a strong spirit and you’ve got that in spades. Wonderful, welcoming blog and congrats on finding succeess with it too.
    new blogger who figured more stuff out since1990

  4. Wow! What an inspiration you are. Your writing connects with all the senses. I am new to your blog, but I have already smiled, cried and felt some of your pain. Thank you for letting us into your life. I wish you all the luck in the world xx


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