Win or Lose, Mom?

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Look at me. Look me in the fucking eyes. I am here. I am human. I am equal to you.
Look at me.

Listen to the words coming out of my mouth. Or the silent thoughts. The grudges. The venom. The lies. The truths.
Listen to me, hear me. Continue reading

beauty

i have dirt under my fingernails

and cracks and ridges where soft skin should be
my hair is pulled up into a messy rats nest
with brittle ends and greasy roots Continue reading

please, don’t leave me

had a bad dream again last night.

i wake up to the back of his neck. i nuzzle my face into his skinĀ and i repeat
i need you
i need you
i need you Continue reading

dreams i have had

it’s not easy saying goodbye. some days, i don’t hurt as much. others, i hurt a lot. i get scared, because goodbyes have always been hard for me. goodbyes have been final. they have meant the end. you turn a … Continue reading

The Crazy

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I don’t know what I expected, but this isn’t it. Maybe I thought that growing up would solve all of my problems, or perhaps I just believed that I would figure out how to fix everything by the time I grew up. Truth is, nothing has happened. I’m still crazy.

I think the worst part is that explaining this crazy is so damn difficult. It won’t fit into paragraphs. It won’t follow the rules of grammar. It’s messy and gritty and the kind of thing that most of us try to avoid.

But what if I tried to explain it anyway? What would it look like?

It would look like this: Continue reading

The Lost Lighthouse – A Haiku

LighthouseHauntedThe fog had darkened
his frail abandoned lighthouse,
and he smelled the death. Continue reading

The Slow Burn of Love

It is a poison, spreading through the veins, crippling the senses, murdering the heart, finding hilarity in the destruction it is causing. It brings out the best in you, it lets out the worst in you. Love. You see the … Continue reading

No fairytale

Love
is no fairytale

Perhaps in the beginning,
we see a bit of that magic.
We are swept off of our feet
or we are entranced by the disappearance
of our doubts.
Perhaps in the beginning,
we see that favorite movie
or the ending of that book
coming true
and we think
‘This is love’
and that things will always be that way. Continue reading

Midnight Musings of Loneliness (and other melancholy things)

When I was a little girl I was stuck; always at the mercy of others. It was then that I developed my claustrophobia, my fear of having no escape. I remember being bound so tightly I could not breathe I … Continue reading