This battle that I am fighting,
I am not fighting alone.
You feel it just as strongly,
it hurts you just as much.
you carry it’s weight too.
Believe me when I say that I know this.

Because of this destructive illness going on inside of my head,
affection has been scarce.
The meds make it even worse.
I am not myself,
and I do not know who I am anymore.
Touch suffocates me,
triggers come more easily now.
You are not the only one that misses the way we were;
my heart craves that affection,
but this ‘darkness’ despises it.

Now, you feel forgotten.
My sweet sweet love, that could not be further from the truth.

You are the only thing that gets me out of bed.
You are the only thing that gives me hope.
I think of you in every thought.
I dream of you at night.

Yes, I need you.
But more than that, I want you.

I told you this morning that I didn’t want to even get out of bed,
for I knew exactly how my day would go.
It is a battle every fucking second.
To lose yourself,
to lose reality,
with no notice,
and no control over it.

But I got up,
because of you.
Because of you,
this will be fixed and we will be back to normal.
just stay.
And know,
that you are never forgotten.