the vows

 

Staring at a blank space, trying to fill the void with words that are adequate for what I want to say is hard.  How am I supposed to promise myself to the woman who has changed my life, who has made it into more than I could ever dream without even having to try?

Sticking around is simple, you just don’t leave. Improving the quality of a person’s life, that is the hard part. Life won’t always be easy, it won’t always be fun. No matter how bad times get, no matter how big of a fight there is, I would still rather be by your side than anywhere else in the world.

I am a man of my word, my Marines knew this and honestly that is the only reason we are here today, a chance email about a promise I made long ago and a move to Oregon to make good on that promise. I learned early on that if you do what you say you will do, you are respected. So with that I have a few, special, promises for you, my wife.

I promise to never, pull away my love from you, ever, period.

I promise to always, give you a safe place, an ear when you need it, a shoulder when you want it and hugs, just because.

I promise that I will help steady you on our journey when you cannot walk and carry you when you cannot stand, all the way to the finish if needed.

I promise to fight for you, no matter how hard it is, how long I have to, or how bad things get

I promise to believe you, no matter what others are saying

I promise to remind you, that you aren’t really going crazy, even when you yourself and the rest of the world thinks you might be.

I promise to always, be there for you, no matter how busy I am

I promise to always, be honest with you, a relationship is built on communication and because of this you will always know when something is wrong and you will always know how much I appreciate you.

But above all I promise that I really do love you, I promise that you really are the most beautiful person I have ever seen, inside and out, I promise that you are more than enough for me and I promise that I will always be by your side for as long as you’ll let me.

You are a star best beloved, you shine brighter than they all do, and you do so even in the darkest of times. You have helped me find my direction, you have given me hope and you have changed the course of my entire life.

There are no words for how I feel about you. I could study every language ever made, every word ever read, every poem ever penned, every sonnet ever sung, and still fall short. Even still, I find myself coming back to three simple words to describe it; I love you.

No measure of time would ever be long enough, but let’s start with forever.

My sweet boy, for so long, I held the weight of my failures on my shoulders, carrying them with me every second of every day. I never understood myself, I was a bunch of puzzle pieces waiting to be put together. Then this boy came into my life so very unexpectedly; this man that no only seemed to know me so thoroughly, but loved and cherished the real me, completely. Suddenly, the weight on my shoulders began to lift, and all of my mistakes weren’t so heavy anymore. After all, it was all of those wrong turns that led me to you. You have given me the greatest gift, loving me as I am. You accept me and nurture me; you take care of me. And I promise to, for the rest of my life, do the same for you. Of course, you do know who you are marrying, so you know that I am not done talking yet.

I promise you that I will break everything, but feel deeply sorry each time I do it. I promise you that I will think that there are ghosts in our home, but give you permission to use it as an excuse to cuddle me closer. I promise you that I will laugh at inappropriate times and that I will make you laugh by the things that come out of my mouth, even when I am not trying to be funny. I promise to steal the blankets and hog the bed. I promise that I will boss you around for years to come, but I also promise that, deep down, you’ll love it. I promise you that I’ll spend too much money on shopping trips, I promise to ask you a million questions about anything and everything and continue believing you’re the smartest person that I’ve ever met. I promise to run into things and fall down constantly, but to be happy you’re there to catch me. I promise to continue making you bleach everything that raw meat has touched. I promise you that my cats will continue to destroy our belongings, and to remind you that we still love them.

I promise to trust you when you say ‘try this new food’, even if I dry heave in the restaurant. I promise that I will say ‘I love you’, ten million times a day, because it will never feel like enough. I promise to support your dreams. I promise that I will say mean things and make mistakes; I won’t always be smiling and laughing. I won’t always be patient or affectionate. But during all of those times, I promise that I will love you completely. I promise to always remember that together, we can accomplish more than I ever could alone, because I believe in you, I believe in US. I promise to love you so completely and fully, that all of the love you didn’t receive in the past, will only be a faint memory. I promise to never take for granted looking into those beautiful blue eyes of yours.

Alex, today I offer you my heart, soul and hand in marriage, and I promise you that I will stay committed and faithful to you, as your wive, through all of the good and bad times, for the rest of my life.

So just like that, we were bound to one another, our pasts washed away like sea foam in the tide. But the future sure looks a lot brighter, with a partner.